The Evolution of Man — Another Theory

The CaveMan theory states that man was the hunter and woman the gatherer. That sounds about right to me. If I were a cave woman, I would not know how to chase down a buffalo, do what had to be done to make it into something edible, let alone drag it home. I like the gatherer idea. I would sleep in, then hum as I collected fruits, berries and hope the mushrooms I found weren’t poisonous.

Little has changed in a few thousand years. It seems that many men like to barbecue which, of course, involves fire and animal meat. It’s still in their genes. Just as women have no choice but to be shoppers and gatherers. Something has to go with all of that meat.

But there are a couple of missing links, so to speak. What happened to the cookers and cleaners? The theory doesn’t mention that women who brought home what they gathered were ever supposed to put things away. It wasn’t in their original job description. They probably just made sure there was a path from the door to their sleeping area — and to the barbecue.

They weren’t meant to do anything else, according to the theory.

I can just imagine the cleaners scurrying around trying to keep order in the caves as more “stuff” came in. The cookers could rarely leave their fire because they were always trying to keep up with the number of side dishes needed to go with all that barbecue. Those were thankless jobs. I am sure the hunters and gatherers were always complaining about the cookers and cleaners, wondering what they did all day. My theory is that the thankless lot finally had enough and jumped off the closest mountain. They were extinct long before the dinosaurs, which is why they are not named in the theory.

I just wish one had lived. I really need help putting away my groceries and “stuff.”