How to deliver bad news that sounds good
— Susan Rigby, Guest Columnist Join Wimberley humorist Susan Rigby as she attempts to navigate “the small stuff.”
My daughter and I have seen traveling Broadway plays for years. We know that when we get our program pamphlet we should open it over our laps so that we don’t have to bend down to pick up all of the pieces of paper that are bound to fall out. These are the lists of substitutes who will be in the play.
It makes me wonder what the main actors were doing the night before to cause them to miss the show. I am guessing they were partying together somewhere because there is never only one substitute. It’s not like John woke up with a cold; it’s like John, Peter, Mary and Jesse all went to an “All you can drink in four hours for $5.00” bar. None make it to our performance.
Last weekend was a first. No white papers fell out of our program. I could hardly suppress my excitement. We will finally see the best of the best. But when I looked at the list of characters next to the main character, it said, “Little Pete will be played by Mark, Blake, Sheldon, Luke, or Kingston.
“OK, I can deal with that. At least their names were important enough to print in the program. Then, just before the performance, a woman came on stage. She said she was the “assistant choreographer.” She told us that we were in for an exciting, special night. The lead character wasn’t going to be played by Mark, Blake, Sheldon, Luke or Kingston. No, we were the very lucky and special audience that got to see the premiere performance (i.e., never on the stage before) of a new lead. And the other exciting thing was that his family was there to cheer him on! Yippee! So, his name wasn’t even pre-printed on a piece of paper stuffed into our program. He was that new! Oh, the crowd cheered. The family was even there!
Next, the “assistant” started going through the rest of the substitutions. Even the Tree had a substitute. I wonder if they found a person dressed in some shade of green as they were coming in the theater and offered them the job. After she finished the long list of substitutes, I waited for more, such as “And the orchestra will be played by a Record player.” “And the theater will be played by the parking garage across the street.” Make your way over there and “Enjoy the show!”