My Dad used to write us letters. He not only taped the envelopes closed but wrapped the whole envelope in cellophane tape as if it was ready to be placed in King Tut’s Tomb with Mr. Tut. It was almost impossible to open the envelopes. Sometimes I was lucky and found a minuscule place that he forgot to tape and could pry and slice the envelope open. By the way, there was no money included, which could be a good reason for the fastidious taping.

He did the same thing when wrapping gifts. A gift, the size of a shoe box, was probably wrapped in dozens of rolls of tape. Again, they never contained money, but it really was the thought that counted. I sometimes wondered what he thought of the gifts I gave him that only had a piece of tape on the two side flaps? He never complained. I hope he wasn’t disappointed. Did he privately wonder if I was really his daughter?

He would not have been disappointed with his other daughter, because she continued the family quirk. I received a large envelope in the mail from my dear sister. It was wrapped in cellophane tape, just like she learned from our Dad. After turning the envelope over and over, I finally found a small spot where I could slip my little finger in and try to tear it open. Cellophane tape does not tear open. I wrestled with the envelope and finally ripped it into long shreds and was able to fold the enclosed papers and squeeze it out of the largest tear I could make. Again, it included no money.

This Christmas, I will wrap my sister’s gift in yards of tape. If and when she gets it open, she will find a gift of boxes for cellphone tape and two shares of Scotch Tape stock. Our Dad would be proud.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

I didn’t want to toss out the box of accessories, so I put them all in a large plastic bag and labeled it “small vacuum.” I put that plastic bag in my laundry room with the other large plastic bags filled with accessories for everything from my larger vacuums (Don’t judge me because I have a two-story house so, two vacuums), my cordless cleaning brush and my not so portable steam cleaner.  

My shed is also stuffed with accessories for my various pieces of outdoor equipment and power tools. I do not understand why everything has to come with extra pieces. I imagine that they could be useful if one knew how to put them together, knew what they are used for, or could find the instruction manuals that might answer those questions. 

I don’t think I have ever used any accessories, but I store them anyway --- just in case. I know that my house would be less cluttered without those bags of useless plastic parts, but I hate to just throw them away. 

I am trying to decide the best approach to making these accessories useful. I could probably open one bag at a time next to their mother appliance and try to put them together. I can hardly write that without laughing. 

I noticed that a store on the square has a big transformer robot by its entrance. With just a little imagination and a lot of super glue, I could probably make my own transformer robot as yard art. It would certainly free up some shelves.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

I wish I knew how to use a facial app that makes me look better on a Zoom call. Surely, not everyone looks naturally better than me.

I wish I knew what size dress to purchase to an event happening in three months.

I wish I knew what is in an official-looking envelope before I waste time opening another advertisement to replace my windows.

I wish I knew what to make with the zucchini I purchased, before it goes bad—and where I put that zucchini recipe— which was the reason I purchased the zucchini.

I wish I knew how to read and follow the directions to put together a three-tiered shelf made in China. I wish I could read and understand Chinese.

I wish I knew which dog pooped on the floor. Why do they all look so innocent?

I wish I knew what kind of exciting gift I can get for a teenager that doesn’t cost my monthly salary. When I was young, a personalized pencil was exciting, but I don’t think that cuts it anymore.

I wish I knew when I was getting to the bottom of the pop-up tissue box before I have a series of non-stop drippy sneezes.

I wish I knew where my magnifying glass was so I can read the small print under the large print “Caution” on my medicine bottle.

I wish I knew how to remember the names of people I have met recently. I don’t understand why people don’t wear large-printed name tags.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

Not long after that first encounter, he drove by again, spotted me out front of our townhome, pulled over, spread maps and plans on the hood of his car, and spent another hour talking about plans to buy The Well and create a park that protected The Well area from development, and, hopefully, provide recreation for the community.

The most important thing, he said, was protection. The anecdotal evidence indicated The Well was starting to show greatly reduced flow rates. At that time no sensors were installed in The Well, but as each drought persisted for longer periods, combined with the Wimberley Valley growing in leaps and bounds, my occasional visitor and teacher saw the time to act was past and he and his association were playing catchup.

Twenty-three years later, I was standing in the crowd as Karl Flocke, Hays County Parks Director, gave a short speech to the crowd of environmental—and Jacob’s Well—enthusiasts, prior to the ribbon cutting that opened the Karst Canyon Trail. This entire area had been part of a proposed development of homes built on top of The Well, an alarming idea that didn’t get past the stage of drawings, which made this result all the more satisfying.

Jacob’s Well was long ago bought and donated to Hays County for perpetual protection, and right there in the crowd was David Baker, the man who had stopped so many times to share the vision his group—then, Wimberley Valley Watershed, now The Watershed Association—had started working toward a half dozen years before we met.

Dozens of years ago, standing in the West Texas landscape, a hydrologist pointed to the bare mountains in front of us and made the point: there is where the water falls and where it then drains to, and the more we alter that route the more we compound our own problems.

The hydrologist also made a point that came to mind that first conversation with David.

David and I were standing in front of the old facility that used to serve Woodcreek North with a restaurant, swimming pool, indoor handball court, all a 3-minute walk to The Well: There are two types of people, the hydrologist said, those who don’t know we have a water crisis and those who do. He advised: Be—and act like—one who knows.

I know of few places where water conservation—at least water consciousness—is as developed as it is in Wimberley. I credit David and the Watershed Association with the teaching, the unseen and untold hours of work, that created not just the Jacob’s Well Preserve and Karst Canyon, but the awareness we all have about just how fragile our resources are. I cannot express admiration enough for his and their work, now in the 30th year.

Thank you all, and very much thank you, David.

Clay Ewing

Wimberley Valley

When I was 21, a man punched me in the face. It was at the holiday party of the Forestry Club at the University of Montana. His name was Mike, and he had been flirting with me but also forceful. I told him I wasn’t interested and went back to chatting with my friend. A few minutes later, a fist came out of nowhere and knocked me to the ground.

I couldn’t let him hurt me like that without consequences, so after giving the other party attendees a heads up, I called the police. They came, interviewed me, and arrested Mike. He pled guilty to assault and did probation. I was satisfied.But the Forestry Club and that group of friends? Most of them began avoiding me, and I no longer felt welcome at their events. Over the next few months, I floated away from that community entirely. I didn’t realize I’d broken a secret, unspoken rule: Speaking up against a problem often gets you labeled the problem.

But we can’t live that way. People do bad things, and we must have the courage to talk about it. Cultures of silence and punishing those who speak up only protect bad actors, those who lie and who treat others with disrespect.

We’ve come a long way from college but not far enough. Recently, an odd game that Judge Ruben Becerra has been playing came to a head. He, in his eighth year in public office, decided to engage on water issues. He brought a proposal to the Commissioners Court on water and data centers that had not been posted publicly or had legal review. Unfortunately, his proposal came with unintended consequences–it would have allowed industrial water users to sidestep the county development process entirely. When the legal team, other commissioners, and I (through a letter to the Court) pointed this out, the judge tabled his own proposal.

Then the judge announced a water summit and pointedly said he expected attendance from every Hays County state legislator…except me. The omission stood out to many Hays County residents, because I have been working on water issues consistently and fighting to bring more resources to our groundwater districts. When constituents asked why I was left off, he lied and said I declined to attend. I corrected the record and said I was not invited. Then he publicly invited me, and I said my office would try to participate. My staff RSVPed via an email to both the judge and one of his staffers.

But when my staff and I showed up, we were told we weren’t on the list and that the venue was at capacity despite folks inside saying there were several empty seats. The judge’s story for why has continued to change. Sometimes he says my RSVP slipped through the cracks, and sometimes he defends excluding me, saying I’m an agitator because I dared to criticize his approach on water issues. I have no reason to believe my exclusion was anything but intentional.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened with Judge Becerra. In 2020, when we were all scrambling to respond to the COVID-19 pandemic, the judge held conference calls for local leaders with briefings from the epidemiologist. I asked to be included to help bring needed state resources to the county. At first the judge acted like I was included but the information for the calls never arrived. When other elected officials sent me the call in information, he changed the call in time at the last minute. The judge implied in texts to me that I had nothing of value to offer and told me not to text him. When mayors and commissioners advocated for me, he yelled at them. He instructed county staff to not communicate with me.

I felt disrespected and angry, but it was a global pandemic, and the work was more important than one badly-behaved elected official. I pulled together medical experts and did virtual town halls for the community. The judge’s then chief of staff and I developed a backchannel about mask orders and federal relief money, which I believe he largely hid from the judge. I fought to get the state to bring the National Guard to Hays County for testing sites, going around the county to get the first week organized. I worked with mutual friends who still had a relationship with the judge to feed him information and ideas without my name attached.

I made myself smaller to make it work and to try (not entirely successfully) to avoid public disagreements between myself and the judge. But it was three times as much work for everyone to tiptoe around the judge’s utter refusal to work directly with me, and we accomplished less for the people of Hays County because of it.

When the judge exhibited such similar behavior last week, I wasn’t willing to make myself smaller anymore. Some of my fellow Democrats, even some of my friends, have criticized me for being divisive. But I can’t believe that calling out lies, gaslighting, and bullying is more divisive than the bad behavior itself.

This is the sad truth: Judge Becerra’s bullying and dishonest behavior has been an open secret in Hays County for years. You’re either with him or against him, and he publicly attacks those whom he considers to have opposed him. County staff and contractors report fear of retribution if they speak out. Local nonprofits, elected officials, business owners, and even many within the Hays Democratic Party have the same fear.

Just because someone is theoretically on the same side of an issue or in the same political party doesn’t mean we should accept bad behavior. Bullying and lying make true unity and collaborative work impossible in a time when we need everyone’s talent and time at the table. We must break the culture of silence, of using the idea of “everyone getting along” as a shield from accountability. I hope that my speaking out gives others the courage to do the same.

I picked out some plants that are easy to grow, like tomatoes, green beans and green peppers. I also stretched my abilities by purchasing flowers, flower seeds and some herb seeds so the butterflies and bees will visit. I remembered reading about a kindred spirit who bought plants every year at the same garden center. The sales person asked her if they should kill them there, or will she wait until she got home. I laughingly mentioned that to the cashier as she rang up my plants. She knows me well enough not to comment. She pursed her lips into half a smile. I told her that this year will be different. These plants will enjoy living with me and I may even bring her some of my excess vegetables.

In order to better ensure the health of my plants, I also purchased a plastic green house to give them a perfect place to start out and to protect them from the critters that seem to like my young veggies before they get a chance to develop. Not this year!

When I got home, I transplanted them into larger pots, added plant food and showered them with water. The weather was perfect. Every day, I took care of them and watched the seeds begin to sprout and the small plants start to show new shoots. For three days, the plants and I were happy. When I woke up on day four, I found that the temperature had gone down to 28 degrees overnight. It seems that a plastic green house doesn’t protect from freezes. I sadly lost a few flowers and vegetables that weren’t hardy enough to live with me. I am not giving up. I just hope that when I go back to purchase more plants, there will be a different cashier.

President of Texas Local Media

“Welcome to Texas.”

That was how the gentleman on the other end of the phone greeted me.

For a moment I tried to place the voice. My day had already been full of calls. Some folks offered congratulations. Others were gentle but direct, reminding me of the long history and significance of the newspapers that had just changed hands.

This caller was another publisher. Someone who understood exactly what had just happened.

Times Media Group – the company I started in 1997 as a single 5,000-circulation newspaper – had just acquired Texas Local Media (also known as Moser Community Media) and its 32 community newspapers. In our business, news like that travels fast.

While operating newspapers in the great state of Texas represents new ground for me, becoming the owner and steward of historic community publications is not. I’ve spent the better part of my career doing exactly that. And over the years I’ve learned something that tends to surprise most people.

Running a successful community newspaper is not nearly as complicated as some make it out to be.

At its core, it simply requires a deep understanding of one thing and a firm belief in another. The understanding is that communities will always need reliable local news and information. The belief is that trusted local sources will only become more important as the world becomes louder, faster and more confusing.

Technology changes. Methods of delivery change. Printing presses turn into websites, mobile editions and social media feeds. But the reason community newspapers exist remains the same.

People want to know what is happening where they live.

They want to know which issues matter, what decisions are being made, which teams won, which businesses have opened, and which neighbors deserve recognition. Most importantly, they want that information to come from a source they know and trust.

In many ways, the job simply comes down to showing up, paying attention and caring about the place you are writing for. From what I’ve learned about the team here at Texas Local Media, I’m confident we have plenty of that.

I’ve also learned that every community newspaper, whether in Texas, Arizona, Colorado or California, shares something in common. The names of the streets change. The high school mascots change. The barbecue gets way, way better. But the heartbeat of each community newspaper remains the same, and it belongs to the people and the community it serves.

Something you may notice about our coverage over time is that the news and information produced by these publications will become more visible and accessible. We believe strongly in making local journalism available to as many people as possible. Whenever practical, we try to democratize the news by making it available free of charge.

Readers can still choose to have the newspaper delivered directly to their door for the modest cost of a subscription. Many still enjoy that ritual and we intend to continue providing that service. Others prefer their news digitally, which is why you will also find our publications arriving in email inboxes and appearing more frequently online.

This approach has not always been the Texas Local Media way. It is now.

Our goal is simple: we want the journalism produced here to reach more people in the communities it serves, not fewer.

Because at the end of the day, these publications are about something bigger than headlines and pages. They are about bringing communities together. A good community newspaper helps neighbors understand one another, celebrate one another and even disagree in productive ways.

When that happens, communities become stronger. And strong communities are very hard to tear apart.

We are proud to continue the work of strengthening communities here in Texas.

From where I sit, there is no more important job in journalism. And we intend to do it every day and do it well. If we succeed, we will exceed the standards of these fine newspapers and keep the promise we’ve made to you and your community – to tell your stories fairly, accurately and without bias.

Why do nonprofits who are wanting donations, send an envelope with pre-paid postage, yet our insurance or electric bills comes with envelopes that need stamps? Who needs the money more?

Why is there 24-hour non-drowsy allergy medicine? Is it to prove they can keep us sniffle free for that long? Is this why I often have trouble sleeping?

Why don’t all videos or photos have to show if they are AI generated? Now I am embarrassed that I told my friends and family about the dinosaur family that scientists have made from their DNA. And they could use donations to help feed them. I like animals so I almost sent a donation until my young grandson told me this was all fake and AI generated. Well, this didn’t actually happen, but it could have.

Why don’t they sell socks and earrings in sets of three? They know we will probably lose one. But I guess that would take away from their profit since we wouldn’t need to buy another pair as often. To make me feel better and not waste my singles, I stuff my individual socks into a larger individual sock for all of the neighborhood dogs. And I can give my single earring to someone with only one pierced ear.

Why can’t you actually see when a pen is about to run out of ink? Even though most have see-through tubes, they always look like they are full. I now bring two or three pens with me so something will possibly have ink left in it. It is a bit embarrassing to start writing an address and the black ink stops working, so you have to switch to red, and possible blue if the red quits. I guess I need to just buy black ink pens.

When we came here, we were looking for something different: a genuine small-town community that is quieter, more varied and more personal. We appreciate the narrow asphalt streets and the diversity in the size, style and value of the homes—and in the people who live in them. We even smile at the sight of a large tree preserved right in the middle of the street, protected rather than removed. That character is part of what drew us here.

This is what we value and what we hope to preserve. A community like ours, which grew naturally and a bit haphazardly over time, cannot simply be remade into one of the large, carefully planned developments many of us chose to leave behind.We have already had the asphalt of one of our major streets replaced with concrete (and it looks out of place), there has been talk of adding sidewalks where there is simply not room for them and, now, someone is wanting to add a bright, digital sign at one of the entrances of our “dark skies” community? I’m hearing a community that is saying, “no thanks!”

I have a few pair of slacks that act as magnets to dog hair. Somehow, I can brush them clean before leaving the house, yet by the time I get to the car, it looks like I'm wearing fur pants. I hope there are no PETA folks around because I don’t know if they would believe me if I tell them that no animal was harmed in the making of my fur pants.

For this reason, I have switched to wearing gray sweat pants. Either these pants don’t attract dog hair or I can’t see it. Either way, it works for me.

Besides matching every top I own, I can dress grey pants up or down, depending on the outing. A fancy top, pretty scarf or giant necklace gives them the look of luxury, at least that is what I tell myself.

If you see me at a fancy party, just know that I’m wearing my best-looking grey sweatpants to be there. And be thankful that I left my furry black pants at home.

Dear Hill Country Neighbors,

We need to have an honest conversation.

The Texas Hill Country — our rivers, our ranches, our dark skies, our wildlife, our way of life — is under pressure like never before. Growth is coming faster than our land and water can handle. Developments are approved before infrastructure is ready. Aquifers are strained. Rural roads are overwhelmed. Native habitat is scraped away. And once it’s gone — it’s gone forever.

This isn’t about being anti-growth. It’s about being pro-Hill Country.

There are many environmental as well as local Conservation Authorities that have long warned that the region is one of the fastest-growing areas in the nation. Groundwater Conservation Districts continue to sound alarms about water availability. Farmers and ranchers — the original conservationists — are watching generational land get divided and sold because the economics of stewardship are getting harder.

We cannot sit quietly while the very thing that makes this place special is exploited for short-term gain.

This moment requires leadership at every level:

Politicians must prioritize water policy reform, regional planning, and responsible infrastructure before approving unchecked expansion.

Environmental organizations must keep educating, organizing, and pushing for science-based protections.

Farmers and ranchers need tools, tax protections, and incentives that make conservation economically viable.

Counties and Municipalities must demand the right to protect their citizens!

And yes — artists, business leaders, and even celebrities who love this place must use their voices to amplify what’s happening here.

Every platform MUST be used and used before it’s too late!

This is not a partisan issue. Clean water is not political. Protecting private property rights while also protecting shared natural resources is not political. Ensuring our grandchildren can swim in clear rivers and see the Milky Way at night is not political.

It is stewardship.

Here in Blanco, we fight hard to protect the Blanco River — one of the few rivers in Texas still considered pristine. We talk openly about water supply, wastewater standards, dark skies, and responsible development because we know once we make a mistake with water, there is no undo button.

The Hill Country does not belong to developers.

It does not belong to special interests.

It does not belong to any one generation.

It belongs to the future.

If we do not raise our voices now — together — we will wake up one day and realize we protected nothing.

Call your legislators. Support conservation groups. Attend county meetings. Ask hard questions about water. Support local agriculture. Elect leaders who value long-term stewardship over short-term profit.

This is our home.

This is our heritage.

This is our responsibility.

For the very soul of the Texas Hill Country —

Let’s protect what cannot be replaced.

With determination,

Candy Cargill

Mayor, Blanco, Texas

Now I have two obsessions that luckily don’t include food. I had been looking for an antique letter opener, thinking it would be fun to use one while looking great on my desk. I bid on a few, but lost. And now I realize it was a good thing. I read that things often happen exactly when you need them to.

I happened upon a battery-powered letter opener, at midnight, on Amazon. It had great reviews and it was inexpensive so I ordered one. I am now obsessed with opening all of my mail, including the junk mail, with my new gadget. I loved this gadget so much, that I ordered some for Christmas gifts. Although some of the recipients loved it, others were less than excited over their strange gift. If you’re interested, I will let you know when they will hold their next garage sale.

My other obsession is a rebounder. When I was younger, they called them mini trampolines. Why I thought I needed a piece of exercise equipment, purchased at midnight, I might add, is beyond my understanding. When it arrived, I had second thoughts and packed it back up. My daughter said I should re-think returning it because people love them. Several YouTube videos showed me people happily bouncing away on their rebounders.

So, I kept it. Now I am totally obsessed and love bouncing to the oldies. It reminds me a bit of of my pogo stick from years ago. I am also losing a bit of weight. I just hope I don’t obsess about carrot cake again.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

I first met him as a small customer needing house plans for a small addition here at my home.

This chance meeting led me find Charles was soon to seek election to the Wimberley City Council. He was versed enough to recall my previous effort to get elected to the City Council in ’05. I was modestly flattered that he would even ask my advice, what I might offer to help his chances of becoming elected. Best I could discern, he “feigned” no memory of what a train wreck he was asking about. I gave it about a 5 second pause before answering.

“Just don’t do anything I did, and best of all, don’t mention my name.”

Then he might just have a decent shot at winning. Charles prevailed and won pretty big his election to City Council.

Our friendship grew and soon he shared a question. Was I ever going to seek election again? I don’t to this day know if he was just bored or being kind in posing this question, but I responded, “Yes!”

I had thought about it, and I knew my friend Bob Flocke was going to run for Mayor. That would leave Council Place 2 vacant for election.

With Bob dragging me behind him every step of the way, I skated in with a massive voter mandate. Winning by two Yup! Two votes!. In that era, and even now, you just do not ever want a narrow two-vote margin of victory. Every voter owns you and is really quick to tell you so. You are there because of their vote.

A few days passed, all sworn in and seated in Place order from the Mayors position right to left starting with Place 1, then 2 then the Mayor and rounding out in numerical order 3, 4 and 5 to the Mayor’s left. I already was keen to be seated next to Charles. He always knew the material and the logical questions to ask at the right times. Soon the answers were so clear to me, JUST VOTE like Charles does. This soon became obvious to the Mayor that I was “drafting” off Charles, more like a clone really. The Mayor liked verbal Roll Call voting and always started rolling up from Place 1 ending with Place 5. One night, the Mayor I guess decided enough was enough, and flipped the roll call vote starting with John White in place 5 rolling down ending with Place 1 my pal Charles. Before this shift, if I had a procedural question or needed a point of question/explanation I would gently nudge Bob and quietly ask my question. I always suspected Bob was ‘carrying’ or packing. I think it’s called “carrying” now days. This night I didn’t nudge Bob as typical, I elbowed the crap out of him all over his right rib cage. That didn’t work well at all. Best I recall, I fractured my elbow. I’m real sure Bob was carrying something at least the size of whatever it was Clint Eastwood used in “DIRTY HARRY.” I forget what it was, but it was big and heavy. I’m surprised the thing just didn’t discharge itself. All the while, I’m sitting in my chair, elbow writhing in pain, my pal in Place 1 leans in and speaks softly. Guess you didn’t know he was carrying that big thing, HUH? I muttered, “No, Charles. I didn’t. Not really.”

As he carefully patted his own breast pocket and said, ‘Don’t worry we’re covered.” The irony in this circus was I had a very good rapport with Place 5 John White, so no way was I likely to get caught just flat footed.

My respect for Charles only grew higher. He was a joy and a wizard at ciphering though the BS and false items we were so often presented with and most often just cut to the chase or the significant, salient point and we moved on.

These same traits were the same when I attended any Wimberley Water Supply Corp meeting where Charles was a Director.

Whatever Charles became involved in-work, politics or hobby-he gave it his best and was all in 100%.

Charles set a high standard and ascribed to it wholeheartedly. I liked and respected him. He was a joy to work with.

Mac McCullough

The family of squirrels who hang out in my front yard seems to have grown quite a bit. I think my local squirrels have contacted distant relatives and told them that their human is putting out a smorgasbord of yummy seeds every day. I hear them laugh when they see me put out, yet another “squirrel-proof” bird feeder.

In fact, I believe that the companies who make those expensive feeders also have a “Feed all Squirrels” non-profit, and the extra cost of those feeders help fund it. The more I spend on squirrel-proof bird feeders, the happier the squirrels are. I have tried the expensive “squirrel-proof” bird seed with jalapeño or something spicy in it. It worked for less than a month before the squirrels knew how to pick and choose through the seeds to get what they want. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind feeding the squirrels, but I don’t appreciate them eating most of the birdseed before the birds are even awake. There is nothing more peaceful than watching a variety of birds delicately picking up seeds and sharing the feeders with each other. And then, here comes the squirrels.

As I noted, my squirrels are very smart and adaptable. It doesn’t take new families of squirrels taking residence near my yard to learn how to take over my bird feeders. That means there must be a squirrel school nearby. Somehow, I need to find it and try to learn what they are teaching. Would they let me be a guest speaker so I can tell them that if I put a designated squirrel feeder in my yard, would they be willing to agree that the bird feeders are off-limits? I wonder if anyone makes squirrel food so tasty that they don’t ever want to eat bird seed again.

I’ll check on Amazon.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

As I felt my way out of the doctor’s office, I realized that I couldn’t drive very far. Luckily, there was a big box store nearby. Blindly, I collected a few items before coming to the toilet paper aisle. Anticipating a drawn out ice storm, the store had stocked a mountain of toilet paper. By standing close, I could see large red print, usually indicting a sales item. I picked up the package, loaded everything in my car and cautiously drove home.

After waiting for my eyes to clear, I unloaded the car and was shocked to see I’d bought a package of 45 toilet paper rolls. I have a small family and a small house and unless I could cover that package with a table cloth and use it as a side table, I had nowhere to store it.

Once the storm landed and the streets turned icy, I became the most popular person in my neighborhood.

Sometimes I am so upset about a situation that bad words come out of my mouth instead of just thinking them. My dog listens and doesn’t judge me, especially if I give him a treat afterwards.

If I am watching a sports event and get a little too rowdy, I quickly apologize and explain that I wasn’t upset with him. He understands and calmly goes back to sleep against my body.

I don’t have to explain to my dog why I am wearing the same outfit three days in a row. He is still proud to take a walk with me.

A friend told me that, although they don’t like to play favorites, my dog is one of the special ones. I was just telling him the same thing this morning.

My dog and I are both nervous during a bad storm. When we cuddle together, we are both calmer. My dog is a good cuddler.

My dog’s silly antics make me laugh harder than most humans can. He seems to understand and will continue his craziness until we are both out of breath.

I sometimes ask my dog for advice and his look tells me that I already know the answer. And he is usually right.

My dog has seen me at my worst yet still comes to me with tail wagging and no side eye look at my mismatched clothes, hair in disarray or spotty shirt.

I believe that my dogs instinctively knows good people from not so good people, even if they are on TV. I support his judgment. I think that, at times, his gut works better than mine.

No one knows me as well as my dog.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

Sometimes I am so upset about a situation that bad words come out of my mouth instead of just thinking them. My dog listens and doesn’t judge me, especially if I give him a treat afterwards.

If I am watching a sports event and get a little too rowdy, I quickly apologize and explain that I wasn’t upset with him. He understands and calmly goes back to sleep against my body.

I don’t have to explain to my dog why I am wearing the same outfit three days in a row. He is still proud to take a walk with me.

A friend told me that, although they don’t like to play favorites, my dog is one of the special ones. I was just telling him the same thing this morning.

My dog and I are both nervous during a bad storm. When we cuddle together, we are both calmer. My dog is a good cuddler.

My dog’s silly antics make me laugh harder than most humans can. He seems to understand and will continue his craziness until we are both out of breath.

I sometimes ask my dog for advice and his look tells me that I already know the answer. And he is usually right.

My dog has seen me at my worst yet still comes to me with tail wagging and no side eye look at my mismatched clothes, hair in disarray or spotty shirt.

I believe that my dogs instinctively knows good people from not so good people, even if they are on TV. I support his judgment. I think that, at times, his gut works better than mine.

No one knows me as well as my dog.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

Somewhere in the past, I must have gone through a short-lived period of organization because a few of the cords were labeled. One was to an old portable CD player that I haven’t seen in years, and one said it was to be attached to an iPod.

The other cords were snaked together like a city in hibernation. I gathered the few electronics I could find and started matching the cords to them. The clump of USB cords proved to be different sizes, and none fit my mini battery banks. The cords I’d saved for my phones, while looking perfect, wouldn’t charge. While I hated to toss any cord that looked like it should work, I did send a few to the grave.

So now, I’m on the hunt for those old electronics, cameras, DVD players and iPods, wherever they are, to match up with the rest of the cords. Why don’t cord companies standardize their cords? Your guess is as good as mine. But since they don’t seem to be willing to do that, I’m buying stock in cord companies.

In the “Where in the World is the Water?” station, we model for the students, showing them first a water molecule model and a globe, as a model of our earth. Our first question is, “How much of the earth’s surface is covered by water?” The students generally know that the answer is just a bit more that 70 percent. Then we use a circle graph to explain that 97 percent of that wonderful water is salt water, unavailable for use by humans and other terrestrial life forms.

Next the students get a chance to do the modeling. Using a graduated cylinder, a pipette and a plastic cup, the fifth graders end up with only 3 milliliters of water in their cup representing all the fresh water available for our use. Now the bad news comes. About 2 percent of that water is locked up in glaciers and icebergs. It’s our turn to ask questions. There were plenty of answers to, “What can we do about having only this small amount of available water?” In each class we saw evidence of what they learned in the classroom and at home. Some of the answers were, “don’t leave the water running when you brush your teeth,” “pour extra water from your water bottle on a plant,” “run the dishwasher only when it’s full,” and so on.

This year one of our volunteers suggested a new question. What if we asked the kids, “How does it feel when you see that one milliliter of water and know it represents all the water available to us. In each class there was one child who was not bothered by this dilemma, saying, “there is enough water for us now.” My favorite answer came from the young man who answered with just one word, “Terrified.” Perhaps we should all consider that question.

Read a Road Map Day - Apr 5

I guess I will need to pre-plan this because I will need to find one of my old road maps. I will definitely read it, but may not follow it anywhere.

Lost Sock Memorial Day - May 9

I have plenty of single socks that I could use to set up a large memorial. It would be colorful enough to place on my front window sill for my neighbors to appreciate.

Talk Like Yoda Day - May 21

I will need to practice this but how fun would it be to talk like Yoda when you go to the bank or a restaurant. Even better would be to do it with unwelcome sales callers.

Put a Pillow in Your Fridge Day - May 29

I am not sure who thought this one up, but they probably live in the south. I will need to clean out my refrigerated expired food products before May 29th.

National Donut Day - June 5

I do seem to like these national food days. This is another one I might need to practice ahead of time.

World Juggling Day - Jun 20

I hope there are YouTube videos on how to Juggle because I would love to participate on this day. I took lessons years ago (yes, along with my tap dancing lessons, but that is for another day), and I need a refresher.

Typewriter Day - Jun 23

Anyone who knows me, knows that I look forward to this day all year. My friends who have to listen to me talk about typewriters, not so much.

Embrace Your Geekness Day - Jul 13

We all have a Geek side that we may not show others. This is the day to show your geekness with pride. I will probably only do it with strangers, because I don’t want to lose any more friends.

Emma Nutt Day - Sept 1

I’ll admit I had to look this one up. She was the first female telephone operator. Talk like a telephone operator every time you use your phone today.

I loved camp. Camp was sublime. I was growing up, building a little independence away from home with my friend Kathy as my camp buddy. We had both been born in the Rio Gand Valley in McAllen, Texas, and our mothers had been good friends; and so here we were.

While I started camp as this weird little ‘tween, I blossomed there. My Mom knew it had the power to allow me to grow. I tolerated riding, shunned rifle shooting, but it was in the river that I excelled. I aspired to be part of the prestigious Canoe Club, and I got in!

In school the year before I had been taunted and teased by my classmates. I was new, returning to Texas from Colorado, and therefore weird and an outsider. I didn’t even know what a 7-Eleven Slurpee was! I thought everyone’s drawl was a big joke. But at camp, I was around all these new girls similarly displaced and so we bonded – with our cabin-mates and our counselor. I had friends!

It was July 21, 1969. Little did we know that a remarkable thing was happening on the moon that night. I guess we went to sleep first? I honestly can’t be sure, but I will never forget what happened next. We were asked to bring our blankets to the lawn in front of the main lodge. There, we settled down and made one huge camp-wide pallet while the director of the camp turned on a small black and white TV. I thought: ‘This is cool, outside under the stars and we were going to watch TV!’ Along with everyone at camp and a majority of humans on Earth, the next thing we saw, on live TV was Neil Armstrong climb down ladder, and make the remarkable statement, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind.”

Me, all by myself, without my own family, but with this family of campers, beside this beautiful river I had come to love – we saw an astronaut walk on the moon! In thinking about this years later, what really resonates with me is this statement on a plaque that the astronauts left on the moon: “ Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the moon, July 1969 A.D. We came in peace for all mankind.”

Just for a moment, the vast majority of Americans, and hundreds of millions of other people on planet Earth, were united.

After the July 4, 2025 flood in the Texas Hill Country, you could say that Mankind has shown up for good once again – all kinds of people came forward to help ease the suffering of that tragedy.

In 1969, on the shores of the serene Guadalupe River, under a Texas sky full of stars, I was blessed with an experience and a truth that I wouldn’t fully realize until more than fifty years later. “We Came in Peace for All Mankind.” That night, in 1969, for many of us, it was the first time, but thankfully not the last time, that Mankind has felt real.

(Elizabeth Buckley is a Peabody and Gracie Award–winning filmmaker, known for PBS’s ‘Wishbone’. Her documentary film ‘The Stars at Night’, first workshopped at Wimberley StoryFest, has screened worldwide. She teaches film at Texas State University. Find out more at thestarsatnight.org and environmentalartsalliance. org; bbcreative@me.com)

The seat is now held by U.S. Sen. John Cornyn, who faces two major opponents in the GOP primary: Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton and U.S. Rep. Wesley Hunt of Houston. Cornyn is seeking his fifth term.

The Georgetown debate is sponsored by the Texas AFLCIO. Crockett is stressing her standing as the race’s progressive and hopes to inspire left-leaning voters to turn out in November if she wins the nomination. Talarico is emphasizing electability, noting he flipped a Republican district to get elected state representative and saying Democrats need a nominee able to compete statewide.

Early voting in the March 3 Democratic primary begins Feb. 17.

White drops bid to take on Abbott

Andrew White has dropped his bid for the Democratic nomination for governor and has thrown his support behind state Rep. Gina Hinojosa, D-Austin, who is widely seen as the frontrunner, according to the Houston Chronicle. The crowded Democratic primary has 10 candidates vying to take on Gov. Greg Abbott, who is seeking an unprecedented fourth term.

Abbott has $90 million in his campaign war chest and faces only token opposition his party’s primary.

Besides Hinojosa, who has served in the Legislature since 2017, the primary field also includes Chris Bell, a former Houston congressman and gubernatorial nominee, and Bobby Cole, a rancher and retired firefighter. White is the son of former Gov. Mark White. He ran for governor in 2018, coming up six percentage points short in his Democratic primary race against former Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez. She lost handily to Abbott that year in the general election.

500 miles of buoys to be added to Rio Grande

In a move to increase border security, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security plans to add floating buoys along more than 500 miles of the Rio Grande, The Texas Tribune reported. Secretary Kristi Noem announced the deployment last week while visiting Rio Grande Valley.

The state of Texas deployed 1,000 feet of the water barrier along the Rio Grande near Eagle Pass in 2023 and added another 1,000 feet in January 2025.

“Texas finally has a partner in the White House,” Andrew Mahaleris, press secretary for Abbott, said in a statement Wednesday. “The floating marine barriers deployed by Texas have been a resounding success, and Gov. Abbott is proud to work with the Trump Administration and Border Patrol to expand the program.”

Under the Biden administration, the federal government sued Texas over the buoys, citing migrant safety and saying that they violated water treaties between U.S. and Mexico. That case is still before the courts.

“They’ll create a safer environment for agents on patrol, and securing our waterways not only protects Americans, it saves the lives of illegal aliens by deterring them from daring to attempt to cross through this treacherous water,” Noem said.

Texas flu levels ‘very high’ with new strain

Flu activity in Texas has reached a “very high” level, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The Austin American-Statesman reported that in the last week of December, the state recorded 25,000 flu-related emergency room visits, with children ages 5 to 11 accounting for more than a quarter of all ER visits statewide.

“It’s been really, really startling,” said Dr. Jeff Shilt, president of Texas Children’s Hospital in Austin. “What’s most startling to us is the number and the severity.”

The surge is fueled by a rapidly spreading H3N2 subtype of influenza A. Although the flu vaccine has been less effective against this strain, doctors emphasize that vaccination still helps protect against severe illness.

Other respiratory illnesses, such as COVID19 and RSV, remain at low levels in Texas, according to the CDC.

Teachers’ union sues TEA over Kirk probes

One of the state’s leading teachers unions has sued the Texas Education Agency in an effort to block investigations into public educators who commented negatively about conservative activist Charlie Kirk after his assassination, the Chronicle reported. The lawsuit said the probe has “unleashed a wave of retaliation and disciplinary actions against teachers” by their local school districts.

TEA launched the inquiry last fall and has yet to issue any disciplinary action. AFT represents about 66,000 educators in Texas. The agency said in December that it received more than 350 complaints from the public, of which 95 are “open and undergoing further investigation and review.” The remainder have been dismissed. TEA Commissioner Mike Morath warned soon after Kirk’s death that educators who posted or shared “vile content” would be investigated for possibly violating the educator’s code of ethics.

At a press conference last week, Randi Weingarten, the president of AFT, called the TEA investigations a “statesponsored attack on teachers.” She noted only Texas and Florida launched probes of this type.

“Mr. Morath decided to exploit the strategy of Mr. Kirk’s senseless murder,” Weingarten said. “His actions were a transparent effort to smear and shame educators, divide our communities and deny our kids opportunities to learn and thrive.”

New World screwworm case reported in Tamaulipas

A new case of New World screwworm was identified in December in a six-dayold calf in the Mexican state of Tamaulipas, less than 200 miles from the border. The Texas Standard reported this is the northernmost active detection of the flesheating larval parasite.

“The continued detections of New World Screwworm near the Texas border are grim reminders of the serious threat this pest poses to our state,” Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller said in a statement.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture has developed a fivepoint plan to address the issue, including building a sterile fly production facility in Edinburg. The parasite was eliminated from the United States decades ago through similar efforts.

“This proven strategy is key to the longterm eradication of New World Screwworm,” Miller said.

Gary Borders is a veteran award-winning Texas journalist. He published a number of community newspapers in Texas during a 30yearspan,including in Longview, Fort Stockton, Nacogdoches, Lufkin and Cedar Park. Email: gborders@texaspress. com.

So how do we keep our community looking beautiful in such arid, desert-like conditions? Enter “xeriscaping.” In Greek, the term means “dry scaping.” At its root, xeriscaping is a landscaping method that aims to use as little water as possible while still maintaining aesthetically pleasing and ecofriendly landscaping.

Key Principles and Practices include: - Plant Selection: Focus on native and adapted plants that thrive in dry conditions, such as Agave, Red Yucca, Texas Sage, Lantana, Desert Willow, andTexas Frog Fruit.

- Watering Wisely: Group plants with similar water needs using the practice of hydro zoning and use drip irrigation or soaker hoses to deliver water directly to roots. Water deeply and infrequently, especially after establishment, and aim for early morning watering.

- Mulch: Apply two to four inches of organic mulch, like compost or shredded bark, to retain soil moisture, moderate temperatures and to control weeds.

- Reduce Turf: Replace water-hungry grass with rock gardens, patios, native ground covers, like Texas Frog Fruit, or other low-water features.

- Soil Improvement: Amend native soil with compost to help plants establish strong root systems but avoid creating a “bathtub” effect with overly rich soil pockets.

- Design Zones: Map your yard for sun, shade and water flow, placing thirsty plants in moister areas and drought-tolerant ones in hot, dry spots.

To learn about xeriscaping in Texas, focus on resources from Texas A&M AgriLife Extension for comprehensive guides and local events and the Native Plant Society of Texas for native plant expertise.

As most people know, I am not a great cook. I can make some things that taste good, like homemade dog food. Not that I have tasted it, but my dogs seem to like it. When my kids were young, I cooked every day and even held holiday parties for family and friends. But “If you don’t use it, you lose it,” and I have lost it.

When the invitations to pot luck parties roll in, I start to sweat and worry that I will run out of aspirin before the season ends.

My kitchen appliances seem to agree that cooking is not my forte. My oven hasn’t worked for a couple of years, thanks to a pumpkin falling on the oven dial. I have tried to find replacement parts. Really.

Then my almost new toaster-convection oven started shooting flames the other day. I unplugged it, took it outside and sat it beside my trusty fire extinguisher. Intellectually, I know it can’t catch fire if it isn’t plugged in, but my brain asks, “what if?”

So I’m left with a toaster, a stove top that partially works and a microwave. Despite success with homemade dog food, I don’t think I can dress it up with enough parsley to take it to a pot luck. If people should ask who brought that delicious dip, what would I say?

I am agreeing with my appliances. Next time, I’m bringing the plates and napkins.

If you have comments or stories to share, send them to itsnotjustmehumor@yahoo.com.

As he focused on putting his items on the conveyor belt, he paid little attention to anything else. When the cashier finished scanning his items through the computer, he reached for his credit card. The cashier stopped him and said, “It’s been paid for.”

“What?” he asked.

The cashier told him again that his purchases had been paid for. When he asked who paid for them, she told him it was the woman who checked out in front of him.

Schwettmann said he couldn’t believe it. He looked for her in the HEB parking lot to thank her, but she had already left.

“I so hope that she reads this article. I want to say thank you and let her know that I too will pay it forward with donations to the Crisis Bread Basket and Barnabas Connection. And I would urge others to do the same. Pay it forward, it’s a wonderful feeling,” he said. “Finally, I want to extend a Merry Christmas wish and a heartfelt thank you to the mystery lady that set all of this in motion. Pay it forward.”

Last week I started the forcing process for some Paperwhite Narcissus bulbs. If you look online for how to force Paperwhite Narcissus you will find a variety of different methods. I put mine on pebbles in a tall glass container and water just below the bulbs. Then I put them in a dark closet (the shed or dark garage will do). I do not bring them out into the light until I can see the flower bud capsule. They have a strong scent which I adore, but others detest! Once you have forced the bulb to bloom indoors they will not bloom again outside. But if you don’t force them and put them directly in the ground outdoors they most likely will come back for a few years in a row and bloom.

The permanent big native grasses are blooming and this is a good time to plant new ones. My Big Muhlys, Muhlenbergia lindheimeri, are sending up tall fluffy spikes. They can get so large that they make a good hedge. Big Muhlys reseed themselves. The Gulf Muhly, Muhlenbergia capillaris, have lovely purplish fluffy seed heads now. Little Bluestem, Schizachyrium scoparium, are the reddish grasses that turn colors from yellowish to reddish when the temperature drops down to the 30’s. My thermometer said 33 earlier this month so the color change has taken place this year.

Join Wimberley humorist Susan Rigby as she attempts to navigate “the small stuff.”

Yes, you are spoiled. How many other dogs get a snack after breakfast? Just ask the other dogs as we are walking the neighborhood.

Please stop embarrassing me by running up to strangers, begging for some love, as if you never get any at home. I am tired of getting the side eye from people who believe you.

When I hand signal and say “stop barking,” why does one of you have to get at least one more bark out. That is not playing by the rules.

Do you really have to bark at the same neighbors passing the house every day for years? Are you having short-term memory problems?

What do you all think to accomplish by following me into the bathroom? I have never once held a meeting there and don’t plan on any in the future.

Rolling in the dirt and not shaking yourselves off before you come back in the house does not work for me, so don’t get huffy or look at me like I’m crazy when I demonstrate “shaking” before I let you in. It is perfectly acceptable, and actually preferred, for you to walk on the pee pad to do your business in the center. It’s not OK to hit a corner of the pee pad and expect to hear “Good dog.”

When I’m on the phone, it is not the time to bring your toys to play tug-ofwar or catch. Yes, I am mostly immobile, but would like to focus on a human, for a change, instead of “all dogs, all day.”

Consider what the neighbors think when you are screaming bloody murder as I am trying to cut your nails. Do I have to put up a sign that says “Beware, dogs’ nail clipping happening now?”

It is not polite to stare at me and my food the whole time I am eating, especially after you’ve just eaten your dinner.

And no, I am not going to taste your human grade dog food before you decide if you want to eat it.

The Republican-led Congress has thus far refused to extend pandemic- era subsidies that reduced ACA premiums, a factor in the recent government shutdown. Part of the deal to reopen the government includes a promise to hold a vote on the issue in December, but it appears unlikely to pass.

Texas insurers have raised ACA premiums by an average of 35%, but the hikes have been even higher for older enrollees.

“So price impacts tend to hit older folks the hardest,” said Laura Dague, who is the James M. Griffin professor of health policy at Texas A&M University. That is because insurance companies consider them higher risk, she added.

Abbott demands action on Mexico’s violation of water treaty

Gov. Greg Abbott and the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality have demanded Mexico address its failure to meet the minimum requirements to deliver water to the United States under a 1944 water treaty.

“Mexico must be held accountable for (its) continued breaches of our longstanding water agreement,” Abbott said. “Because of their pattern of neglect, Texas farmers are enduring preventable hardship and an erosion of the agricultural viability of the Rio Grande Valley.”

Abbott said Mexico has failed to supply more than two years’ worth of water — almost 2 million acrefeet. He said that has had a severe negative impact on the state’s agricultural industry.

“Economic losses from delayed water deliveries cannot be recovered,” said TCEQ Commissioner Tonya Miller. “Texas communities across the lower Rio Grande Valley will continue to suffer unless Mexico starts meeting their treaty obligations.”

Under the treaty, the United States has consistently met its delivery obligations on the Colorado River, while Mexico has significantly breached its commitments on the Rio Grande River, Abbott said. The state’s two U.S. senators, Ted Cruz and John Cornyn, have proposed a bill that would hold Mexico accountable for failing to provide water to South Texas under the 1944 treaty.

Final rules on state’s voucher program are released

The comptroller’s office has finalized rules for the state’s $1 billion school voucher program, the Houston Chronicle reported. Applications for families are scheduled to open in February.Among the features: -Families seeking pre-kindergarten services will be able to access accounts worth $10,500, which can be spent at private pre-K schools or childcare centers that have pre-K classes.

-A clarification in the rules means that private schools or charter school networks already established in other states can open new campuses in Texas. The law says private schools must have been accredited for at least two years. The new rules mean this includes operating a campus in another state.

-The application window opens on Feb. 4 and will last around six weeks.

-Students approved for vouchers will not need to reapply in the following years.

Power plant loan program making progress

After a rocky start, a state plan to boost the construction of natural gas plants has begun loaning money two years after the $7 billion Texas Energy Fund was created, The Dallas Morning News reported. That comes after one of the original loan applicants chosen for the program possibly committed fraud in their application and was selected despite the company’s head having been convicted of a federal crime. Other companies pulled their applications, citing supply chain issues in procuring the large turbines needed to produce electricity.

However, since June, the Public Utility Commission of Texas has approved about $1.5 billion in loans for six power plant projects. When completed, they will have the capacity to power at least 875,000 homes.

The Legislature created the Texas Energy Fund after the February 2021 blackouts killed more than 200 people. The fund was created to build power plants that can produce electricity on demand. One of the companies receiving a loan is Houstonbased Calpine.

“This 460-megawatt, state-of-the-art facility is designed to start within minutes and will deliver safe, reliable power exactly when Texans need it most,” Caleb Stephenson of Calpine said in a news release.

$1.2 billion headed to Texas broadband access

Federal funding included in the 2021 infrastructure law passed during the Biden administration has been slow to reach states, The News reported. But the Trump administration announced recently that it has approved a plan to spend more than $1.2 billion in federal funds to improve broadband access in Texas, delivering high-speed internet to rural areas.

That amount is considerably less than the $3.3 billion allocated to Texas under the original infrastructure law passed in 2021. Texas is the 19th state to win approval of a final plan.

Acting Texas Comptroller Kelly Hancock said the approved plan will make it possible for nearly every Texas location to connect to high-speed internet.

“The Texas broadband plan reflects our state’s commitment to responsible stewardship and to creating an environment where families, students and businesses can continue to thrive for generations to come,” Hancock said.

PUC provides money-saving tips as winter nears

The Public Utility Commission of Texas has launched a new website, Ways to Save, to help Texans conserve energy and save money during frigid weather.

“Small changes at your home or business can make a big impact on your electric and water bills,” PUCT Executive Director Connie Corona said. “It’s important to prepare ahead of the cold winter months, especially ensuring you are enrolled in the electricity plan that is right for your home and family.”

The page includes tips on how consumers can prepare their home or business for cold weather and reduce energy and water use to save money on utility bills. Tips range from small lifestyle changes to physical updates consumers can make to prepare their homes for winter.

You can find the site at: puc.texas.gov/wayst osave.

Gary Borders is a veteran awardwinning Texas journalist. He published a number of community newspapers in Texas during a 30-year span, including in Longview, Fort Stockton, San Augustine, Nacogdoches, Lufkin and Cedar Park. Email: gborders@texaspress. com.

The eventual Texas legend had his misgivings when he first arrived in Houston from Virginia in 1837. In a fine calligraphic hand he wrote to his father, “I have seen a great many families here that want to get back to the States but cannot get back. And well they might for the Indians scalp them from the mountains to the Gulf, and have beat the Rangers in every attempt. A worse society could not be found on the globe. People here kill each other every day. People in Texas die like rotten sheep. The City of Houston contains about three thousand inhabitants, which ten months ago there was not a house in the place. And I will venture to say there are three times the number of graves around Houston than there is in the graveyard at Lexington, Va.”

Whatever the cause of the 20-year-old newcomer’s distemper – maybe a young man’s homesickness? – Bigfoot stuck around for the next six decades. Texasstyle exaggeration and hyperbole settled in around him through the years. As folklorist J. Frank Dobie put it in his Handbook of Texas entry for the Texas folk hero, “Wallace was as honest as daylight but liked to stretch the blanket and embroider his stories.”

To me, this original and representative fellow, this Texas legend, still lives. In a way, I’ve known him since before I was born. My grandfather, Pete Moore ran a meat market and general store in the village named in Bigfoot’s honor. He died years before I was born, but my grandmother – Mammy, her grandchildren called her – would outlive three husbands, which explains why everybody except friends and family members called her Mrs. Stevens. She continued to run the store; her modest house was part of the same building.

My mother, Mildred Moore Holley, grew up in Bigfoot, then and now a blinkand- you’ll-miss-it village in the Texas brush country south of San Antonio. She got back to Bigfoot for occasional visits. Even with three boys in tow, she seemed once again to be young and carefree when she was back home in Bigfoot. To her family, to customers dropping by the store, she was Millie.

Across the road from Mammy’s store was the Bigfoot Post Office. Every morning about 10, postmistress Lizzie Thomas, Mammy’s lifelong friend, would have the mail up, thereby setting in motion downtown Bigfoot’s weekday rush hour. Since there was no rural mail delivery, folks would troop in to pick up their letters, bills and catalogs, now and then boxes of peeping baby chicks. They’d greet Lizzie and their neighbors and then amble across the road to the store for a loaf of bread or a carton of milk, maybe a soft drink. Usually the women would visit with Mammy for a while inside the store, while the men relaxed on the red wooden benches that lined the porch.

(Stay tuned next week for Part Two of the story – “How Bigfoot Landed at NBC”) (Joe Holley, author of six books - mostly about Texas, has been a speechwriter for Gov. Ann Richards, a staff writer for The Washington Post and a Houston Chronicle editorial writer and columnist from 2012 until the present. He was a Pulitzer Prize finalist in 2017 and 2023 and a Pulitzer Prize winner in 2022. djholley10@ gmail.com)