I wish I knew the words to current Rap songs, so I don’t have to mumble in nonsense syllables until I get to the one word I do understand. I sing that word loud and clear.
I wish I knew how to use a facial app that makes me look better on a Zoom call. Surely, not everyone looks naturally better than me.
I wish I knew what size dress to purchase to an event happening in three months.
I wish I knew what is in an official-looking envelope before I waste time opening another advertisement to replace my windows.
I wish I knew what to make with the zucchini I purchased, before it goes bad—and where I put that zucchini recipe— which was the reason I purchased the zucchini.
I wish I knew how to read and follow the directions to put together a three-tiered shelf made in China. I wish I could read and understand Chinese.
I wish I knew which dog pooped on the floor. Why do they all look so innocent?
I wish I knew what kind of exciting gift I can get for a teenager that doesn’t cost my monthly salary. When I was young, a personalized pencil was exciting, but I don’t think that cuts it anymore.
I wish I knew when I was getting to the bottom of the pop-up tissue box before I have a series of non-stop drippy sneezes.
I wish I knew where my magnifying glass was so I can read the small print under the large print “Caution” on my medicine bottle.
I wish I knew how to remember the names of people I have met recently. I don’t understand why people don’t wear large-printed name tags.
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