When charting a new course in life, travelers can sometimes encounter roadblocks that leave them walking in circles. At times like these, a mentor can be invaluable. Not because they provide answers, but because they ask the questions that lead us to forge our own path, by breaking down the steps to get there, helping us account for each mile taken and connecting us with expert guides when needed.
“We’re meant to grow and evolve,” said Clarity and Alignment Coach Lindsey Samford of Wimberley. “My practice focuses on helping women do it for themselves, because they can, but it can be confusing and overwhelming in the beginning.”
Many of her clients, she says, have been moms for 15 years and perhaps in a career for 20. “So, they’ve done mom, career and wife and are now stepping back and wondering, ‘Is this what I want to keep doing?’”
Other clients face transitions because those around them are changing. “Why didn’t anybody tell me that when kids go from being kids to teenagers or from teenagers to moving out, that I would experience so many feelings? Nobody told me that my loving son, who once adored me, now wants nothing to do with me, and tells me I’m wrong about everything.”
Yet others report that what they’re doing feels stagnant and repetitive. One client wanted to declutter but reported that “I put things in bags to give away, but the bags just sit there.”
“As we talked,” Samford said, “the client came to the realization that ‘it’s because we moved around a lot, and when we moved, we didn’t get to take our stuff with us. Maybe that’s why it just sits there. I don’t get rid of things because I had to get rid of so much growing up.’ Until then, it wasn’t on her radar as contributing to the problem.”
Another client found herself stuck after the death of her father. “She hit a roadblock when it came to dealing with his will and estate. She’s a motivated person and very organized, but for some reason, she had a block about completing these tasks. Our work was to break down the tasks into smaller, more manageable components.”
Others wrestle with the changes their bodies experience as perimenopause sets in.
“My clients tell me that they end up feeling lost because there are so many things going on, and a lot of those things are internal. They feel like nobody prepared them for this part of their lives. And they think, ‘I must be doing it wrong.’ When they reach out to friends, they discover their friends are going through the same thing. When everyone is going through the same thing, it’s hard to find perspective and the way forward,” Samford said.
Samford begins by providing her clients the space to be quiet and explore what they want for themselves. But these conversations can be clouded by outside expectations, so she asks open-ended questions that help them clarify their goal. “It takes time, which is why new clients are asked to commit to four, 60-minute sessions.”
From the clearing process, clients establish a longer-term goal. “I ask them to imagine themselves in six months: ‘What does your life look like and feel like? What are the things that you do?’”
Then she works backward to establish what the client can do this week to get to that larger goal, making sure the actions are attainable.
“These interim goals must be realistic, specific, measurable and on a timetable. Then we establish the people who can keep the client accountable, keeping them on the path they’ve set for themselves.”
Along with helping clients find the path forward, Samford said, “I look at balancing the three pillars of wellbeing: physical health, mental health and spiritual health. If one of those pillars is off or underdeveloped, then something ends up not being right, like a three-legged stool with uneven legs.”
