Please tell my dogs
Join Wimberley humorist Susan Rigby as she attempts to navigate “the small stuff.”
Yes, you are spoiled. How many other dogs get a snack after breakfast? Just ask the other dogs as we are walking the neighborhood.
Please stop embarrassing me by running up to strangers, begging for some love, as if you never get any at home. I am tired of getting the side eye from people who believe you.
When I hand signal and say “stop barking,” why does one of you have to get at least one more bark out. That is not playing by the rules.
Do you really have to bark at the same neighbors passing the house every day for years? Are you having short-term memory problems?
What do you all think to accomplish by following me into the bathroom? I have never once held a meeting there and don’t plan on any in the future.
Rolling in the dirt and not shaking yourselves off before you come back in the house does not work for me, so don’t get huffy or look at me like I’m crazy when I demonstrate “shaking” before I let you in. It is perfectly acceptable, and actually preferred, for you to walk on the pee pad to do your business in the center. It’s not OK to hit a corner of the pee pad and expect to hear “Good dog.”
When I’m on the phone, it is not the time to bring your toys to play tug-ofwar or catch. Yes, I am mostly immobile, but would like to focus on a human, for a change, instead of “all dogs, all day.”
Consider what the neighbors think when you are screaming bloody murder as I am trying to cut your nails. Do I have to put up a sign that says “Beware, dogs’ nail clipping happening now?”
It is not polite to stare at me and my food the whole time I am eating, especially after you’ve just eaten your dinner.
And no, I am not going to taste your human grade dog food before you decide if you want to eat it.
