So, I’m waiting for this woman I met the other night. She said she would meet me here, and I’m thinking about our conversation - the only thing I know about her.
I was trying to impress her with my sympathy for human suffering, sincerity, and some knowledge of the arts. So, when she says something about nefarious characters in the city I let slip, ”How can people be so heartless. How can people be so cruel?” She just looks at me, so I say, “Easy. It’s easy to be cruel. Easy to say no.”
I mean that is straight out of “Hair” the rock opera, and I wasn’t trying to steal the line. If she thought it was all mine then OK, but if she knew where it came from, then I could just say. “Sure, I only quote what is profound,” or something along those lines. But she doesn’t let on, one way or the other and then she says she plays the oboe, wants to play in the opera someday. So I say “Ride of the Valkyries is my favorite opera.”
I don’t tell her that the only version I know is by Walt Disney Productions. It’s called “What’s Opera Doc?,” starring Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd. So she thinks I’m talking about the real opera, which I am because I have a hunch Walt Disney stayed as close to the real story as possible.
I have a decent tenor when I want to, so I sang a few bars of one of the two stanzas I can remember. I decide against the scene where Elmer sings, “Kiw da wabbit. Kiw da wabbit,” because it is a hunting scene and I just made points with my previous sympathetic statement about “Easy to be Cruel.”
So I decide on the scene where lovestruck Elmer Fudd sings, “Oh Bwoom Hiwda, you so wovwey.” I mean I don’t do the Fudd bravado because I’m pretty sure that is just his style, but I substitute the Rs and Ls for Ws because I’m pretty sure that’s the way they talked back then.
Anyway, I sing it more like Pavarotti. Then she gives me this look like maybe there is more to me than meets the eye, but all she says is “Well, gotta go. The show must go on,” or something like that.
So I say, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans,” which is the closest answer I have to “the show must go on.” John Lennon got the credit for the line but he actually lifted it off some other famous guy, so I figure why not? She looks impressed but just says, “Well, why don’t we plan to meet tomorrow? Same time, same place. Maybe life will happen.”
You have to expect a bit of tardiness with a woman like that, but it’s okay because I could use some extra time to work on the new material that I came up with last night. I’ve got two good lines from Elvis Presley movies and one from Rudyard Kipling, depending on which way the conversation goes. Anyway, I don’t think she’s coming.
(Jim McJunkin has been a photographer for over 50 years and has been involved in a number of art and photography shows around the country. He has work in the permanent collection at the National Vietnam Veterans Art Museum in Chicago, Illinois, and has authored several photography related books. Jim and his wife Beth have lived in Wimberley for 20 years. [email protected])
