Don’t ever laugh or even acknowledge the staff working the X-ray machines in the airport unless you have a few hours to spare.
No matter how good the “special price” is, never eat a bean burrito before boarding a plane. And hope you never have to sit behind the person who did buy that “burrito special.”
Never get a “spur of the moment perm” just before closing at a salon in the mall in another city or, for that matter, in your own city.
Don’t ever bring just two tissues on a two hour plus flight.
Never try to blow your nose on a piece of notebook paper when you run out of tissues on that flight where you only brought two tissues. Your seat mate will not be amused.
Never soap up your hands in the rest room without being sure that the water faucet works.
Never bring too few underwear on a trip thinking you can wash it and it will dry overnight in your hotel room, not even if you try to dry it with the hair dryer, if it works.
Never believe everything your navigation system tells you. It is okay to argue with your navigation system.
Never leave the rental car parking lot without knowing how to turn on the lights, open a window, open the gas cap or lock or unlock the doors.
Never think that you don’t have to write down where you parked your car in the airport parking lot.
Never think you don’t have to write down where you parked your rental car in a mall or restaurant parking lot.
Never think you will remember the color or make of said rental car. Never only pack clothes based on the weather report you checked before you left home.
Never think that the safety pin holding up your pants will get you through the day, problem free.
Never say out loud “this flight is always on time” or “I’ve never had an airline lose my bag.”
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